PRIVATE EYE UNCENSORED: Valerie Vella goes Legligin...and reveals!

Legligin wine bar @ 119 St Lucy Street Valletta was not a place I was particularly intrigued to go to since I had walked past it a couple of times before, and it never really caught my eye. However, a friend of mine has been there and spoke highly of it, so I figured I could give it a go! For the evening, Miss Adorable – aka – Valerie Vella – Tv host and presenter supreme joins me.
Together with Ms Vella (covered in black from head to toe like a beautiful version of Morticia Addams) we arrive at our destination to find a man standing outside with a beaming face and eyes that have a story to tell. “Please walk in, and make yourselves comfortable. I’ll be with you very soon,” he chirps.
This Tapas/Café/Wine bar is something I have never seen before! It’s basically not much more than one room but the owners have used every bit of space intelligently. There is something very laid back and friendly about it, and as we step in and settle for a mega-small table next to the wall, my first thought is that this is probably the first wine bar that really takes me back in time. It encapsulates the basic values of simplicity and gives me a strong sense of traditional atmosphere. I know at once that all my foreign friends would fall in love with this wine bar instantly (well, apart from this acquaintance of mine who would bitch her way through the evening probably claiming that the place is too small for her fabulous long legs).
Valerie Vella is in a “Sweet” mood. She takes in her surroundings and keeps saying “Helu… helu… xi hlew!” almost sounding like she has just landed in Disney Land.
My first impression of the place is that it is too cluttered. I count six blackboards on the wall and there are all sorts of paraphernalia surrounding the seven tables in the room… until I realize that this is the beauty of it all! The details tell a story and I feel that Legligin has a very rich and colourful story to tell - From the wine bottles stored in specially made holes in the walls to the wonderful, old wooden chairs and the lovely and caring owner that fusses around his guests like a caring mother would do!
We reach for the menu card which is not much bigger than a Xmas card, yet it has a small selection of foreign wines that look rather inviting.
Valerie admits instantly she is not a hard-core wine enthusiast, and that one glass knocks her down, two glasses will probably make her say stuff she will regret days later. Excellent! I think. Three glasses for my guest! She’ll probably spill the beans about all those things I am dying to know but might not dare publish. Or will I?
She toys with the idea of picking a Red Montepulciano from Tuscany (perhaps inspired by the ambience, or maybe because behind that sweet smile of hers there is a raving passion that could make Lindsay Lohan appear like an innocent school girl).
Mr Legligin saves the day! Sensing we have some problems deciding he walks over to us and explains that one of the boards lists all the St Emillion wines (prices range from cheap to fairly expensive) but we can also try the house wine – a Bordeaux, F. de Ligneries priced at 15.95 Euro. Like an experienced magician pulls out a rabbit from a hat, he pulls out the Bordeaux for us to taste in the most dramatic Vanni Pule manner.
It is different… particular, I would say. “Let’s go for it,” we chorus back in unison.
The food list is just a page on the front of the menu card. There are “Small eats” for the not-so-hungry people or those on Weight Watchers, or something more abundant for the very hungry ones. Both Valerie and I are not too hungry so we opt for the “Small Eats”, quite intrigued by what they could be. We ask Mr Legligin but he is mysteriously evasive in his response. Well, I think, I like to be surprised!
And surprised I am. Pleasantly!
We get five to six Mezes at a tempo which I like. To start with we get the first offerings in dainty china, and then, just like little bonuses, the delightful owner comes back with another… and yet another.
Valerie falls in love with the bread (Nah! This is before she starts drinking!). She likes the way it is cut to have a crispy crust in every piece. It has not occurred to me, but she is right of course. Legligin breathes a new life into bread design.
The Mezes are wonderful and surprisingly original. I always get so excited when I see so many small dishes in front of me. We have a sliver of sliced Salmon… two micro slices of tasty gbejniet… two small slices of unbelievably good Terrines (Chicken and Walnut, and Rabbit liver)… Octopus and squid in red sauce… and two small slices of what I can describe as a “heavenly meat-cake”. We can’t really tell what it is, but whatever it is make sure to ask for it if you go to Legligin. I just wish the portions were a tad bigger.
The whole ensemble of Meze’s actually lifts the look of the table.
The wine starts kicking in and Valerie is sharing some TV gossip like anybody in the glitzy world of entertainment does. Next, we dance on the edges of relationship-talk, and we share a couple of anecdotes. She is a very driven girl who knows what she wants, and has the talent and the high IQ needed to achieve her goals.
I always wondered if she sees herself as an Angel or as a Devil, so when I bluntly ask her she teasingly replies she could be a little Devil dressed as an Angel.
In that precise minute two handsome hunks with a face that could have been chiselled out of an American soap walk in, and Valerie’s attention span is gone momentarily. Actually, she enters a delightful trance – bewitched by the duo.
I try to recapture her attention by asking a question I am dying to get an answer for: Would she rather go out to a wine bar with Robert Abela in a bad mood… or with Grace Borg in a good mood?
She thinks about it for less than five seconds, and settles for Robert Abela in a bad mood.
My curiosity is quenched.
Her attention pops back to Mr & Mr Hunk, and happily downs some more Bordeaux. The Hunks do not seat themselves. One chooses to stand up next to the small bar, and the other sits on the stairs. They do not talk to each other either. They just sip on a glass of wine in angst-ridden expressions. Despite their soap-opera looks and silicon induced muscle they are probably as exciting as a game of UNO with a blindfold.
I excuse myself and head for the toilette. As I suspect the restroom at Legligin is bereft of imagination, though has all that is needed. If you get claustrophobic, hold on to your call of nature till you get home!
Nevertheless, it would be a cardinal sin to miss out discovering this wonderful wine bar in St Lucy Street. Perhaps not the place for a romantic couple (or a husband about to tell his wife he’s moving in with his mistress in a new Portomaso penthouse) as the tables are quite close to each other and you might not feel comfortable discussing intimate things. However, it is ideal for a small private function of 25 people, or a lovely night out with friends.
Legligin is a one-man-show, starring Mr Legligin in the leading role! A genuinely nice man with a radiant smile and a laid-back attitude that makes you feel comfortable. I think he is a very strong asset to the wine bar.
There is nothing groovy, over-the-top or pretentious about the place – What you see is what you get – but that is the real charm. For those interested in prices, I can tell you we paid 15.95 Euro for the Bordeaux, and 17.90 Euro for the Mezes.
I feel I want to kick myself black and blue for not having discovered Legligin before. This is a real jewel I highly recommend.
As we walk out, a group of six people that includes a known musician in a 1980’s suit with those Linda Evans Dynasty shoulder pads, walk in. My God! I am surprised those shoulder pads still see daylight. Even Linda Evans would scream in horror if she had to see them today.
The two hunks are gone (much to Val’s dismay), but the place is still buzzing with life … just like its owner!


RATING 1 – 7
Wine: **** Ambience: *****
Food: ******* Service: *****